How it works
Most hard conversations go wrong in the first thirty seconds. Grace Place fixes the opening: you lead with what you appreciate, then you ask instead of accuse. Same subject, completely different temperature.
Work through the five steps together. One spouse answers all five, then you switch.
1Set the Atmosphere
- Choose a good time to talk.
- Use a gentle tone.
- Assume the best about each other.
- Remember: the goal is closeness, not winning.
You can begin by saying: “I want this conversation to help us feel closer, not heavier.”
2Start with Gratitude
One thing I appreciate about you right now is…
One reason that means so much to me is…
3Ask Where Support Is Needed
“Looking at the word bank below, is there an area where I could better support, serve, or love you right now?”
Choose an area. Italicised areas are the five ways people most often feel loved.
Quality TimeActs of ServiceWords of AffirmationPhysical TouchReceiving GiftsCommunicationEmotional SupportSpiritual EncouragementHome ResponsibilitiesWork & Life RhythmFinancesHealth & WellnessParentingIntimacyPhone Use & PresenceThis week’s area
4Open the Conversation
Ask Question 1 and pause. Your spouse answers. Reflect back what you heard. Then move on.
1. What feels most important to you in this area right now?
2. What is something I’m already doing that has been helpful?
3. What is one simple way I could support you better this week?
After each answer, the listener responds: “What I hear you saying is…” · “Did I get that right?” · “Thank you for sharing that.”
5Take One Small Step
Spouse 1 — this week I will support you by:
Spouse 2 — this week I will support you by:
When you’ve hurt each other
Grace Place keeps most conversations soft. When real hurt has happened, repair is its own skill — walk these four steps instead.
Make it a rhythm
Grace Place works best as your weekly pivot in the 1-1-1 Rhythm — one honest conversation a week, not one big one a year.