To warm up
Session One - Intrigue
Keep being a student of one another
Dating naturally creates questions: What makes you laugh? What matters to you? What shaped you? Engagement can quietly replace curiosity with logistics. Guest lists, housing, budgets, and decisions fill the space once occupied by long conversations.
Intrigue is the choice to keep noticing. You are not marrying a finished person, and neither are you a finished person. A thriving marriage leaves room for each person to grow, surprise, and be rediscovered.
“In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)
What first made me curious about you?
What quality in you has become more beautiful as I have known you?
Watch - Intrigue
The marriage video uses language from life after the wedding, but its invitation belongs here too: do not let familiarity become inattention. Listen for one habit you can begin during engagement.
The Marriage Triangle
Draw closer by moving toward God
Your relationship is not sustained by chemistry alone. As each of you grows closer to God, you gain humility, wisdom, and a deeper capacity to love. You also learn that your fiancé cannot carry needs only God can meet.
“A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV)
Where do I see God shaping you right now?
How can I encourage your relationship with God without controlling it?
Know the Story Behind the Person
Family experiences, friendships, losses, celebrations, culture, church, and past relationships all shape what feels normal. Curiosity helps you understand the story without assuming it must become your shared future.
Take turns. The listener asks one follow-up question before sharing their own answer.
- What did affection look or sound like in your home growing up?
- When your family celebrated, what made the moment meaningful?
- What experience made you grow up faster than people realize?
- What part of your story do you most want honored in our marriage?
- What family pattern do you hope we continue, and what pattern do you hope we change?
Something I understand more clearly about your story now
Practice Delight
Appreciation becomes powerful when it is specific. “You’re great” is pleasant. “I watched you make space for that person, and it showed me how compassionate you are” tells someone they have truly been seen.
One specific thing I notice and appreciate about you
One question I want to keep exploring with you
Go Deeper — optional
For couples who want to linger. Skip it if you’d rather keep things light.
- What part of yourself are you still learning to share with me?
- When do you feel most fully yourself around me?
- Where might wedding preparation be crowding out friendship?
- How can we protect play, laughter, and discovery after the wedding?
This Week
Love keeps looking. Curiosity says, “There is still more of you worth knowing.”